The Carlington Summit

A minister had not been getting along with some members of his congregation for a while. After his sermon one Sunday he announced that he was answering the call of Jesus and has accepted the call of a congregation in another province. The hymn following his announcement was “What a friend we have in Jesus.”

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

I have this friend who spend most of the winter putting out seeds for the birds. She also chops some bread for the bigger birds and a couple of squirrels also have the table on the deck. Lately a new friend has been making some late night visits. A little rabbit can be seen huddled in the snow. It has a few times ventured onto the deck obviously looking for food. So now she puts out some rabbit pellets and some lettuce. I asked her how her relations with the rabbit will be when it starts using her flower garden as a salad bar.

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?